What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

How do you weigh in on the Vance-couch conversation?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What questions are asked in a JP Morgan Hirevue interview?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

What's your photograph of the day 1097?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What are some possible reasons for an unfaithful spouse to not confess their affair to their partner and instead end it without telling them?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Are there really people who still believe the Earth is flat?

TEXT:

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

What happened to your school bully?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What has been your best sexual experience?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why do men like to suck another man’s dick?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why do most Indian women cuckold or cheat on their husbands?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What are some common lies that addicts may tell themselves?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.